


Lessons In Intimacy

by Kyluxtrashpit (ApostateRevolutionary)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Soft Kylux, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 20:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/Kyluxtrashpit
Summary: Ren had touched every part of Hux and Hux had touched every part of him in return. It was reciprocal release and vulnerability in a way that was far more intimate than anything Hux had experienced with those who’d shared his bed over the years. Sometimes he wanted more, to make it messy in a way he’d sworn he wouldn’t and throwsentimentinto the mix as well. It was foolish, he knew, to want such a thing, especially with Ren. But that didn’t stop him from occasionally wondering what would happen if he tried, even if the most likely result was to ruin what felt like a very fragile truce.





	Lessons In Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is but I wanted some Soft boys and gentle touching and, well, here you go

Ren arrived at his rooms and Hux let him in wordlessly, as he did every time they did this. Ren removed his boots at the door and then Hux led him towards the bedroom, a prickling of anxious excitement building in Hux’s chest. He’d agreed to this, had agreed to it all those weeks ago when they’d started it, but it still sent a little thrill through him every time. At first, he’d told himself it was only to keep Ren under control, that he got nothing else out of it. Now, though, he could no longer maintain the lie.

Still in silence, they both began to undress. Hux turned away, as he always did, removing his greatcoat and hanging it up before starting on the catches of his uniform. He pretended his hands weren’t trembling as much as they were from the anticipation. There was no reason for this, what they did, to get him so worked up, somewhere between panic and eagerness. It was pathetic of him to even want it in the first place, he knew that. He also knew he couldn’t stop, though, and he had the same fight with himself every time.

He wondered if Ren had a similar crisis whenever he came here.

His outer tunic now removed, Hux peeled off his undershirt and then moved on to his trousers. His boots were already off, set at the door so as to preserve the cleanliness of his quarters, and soon he was in nothing but his undergarments. The exposed skin didn’t make him half as self-conscious as the knowledge of why he was exposing it, thanks to spending virtually his entire life in a military environment, so he walked over to the laundry chute and deposited the day’s uniform. By the time he was done, Ren would also be ready.

Turning around confirmed that, Ren having also stripped down to nothing but his briefs. There was a moment where the quiet was particularly awkward, both of them standing there undressed, looking towards each other but making a point of not looking _at_ each other. Hux was the first to break it.

“Shall we, then?” he said, gesturing to the bed.

Ren nodded and Hux went to lie down on his stomach, hiding a deep, steadying breath in the sheets. Ren followed, tentatively climbing up behind him.

“What do you want?” Ren asked, hovering just out of reach.

Hux hummed. “My back, tonight.”

It came out steady and commanding enough that Hux could excuse the way his stomach fluttered. But he couldn’t completely suppress a gasp when large, warm hands made contact with his shoulders. Instinctively, he tensed up, unused to the contact even after weeks of doing this, but managed to force himself to relax as Ren swept his palms downwards. It was… Kriff, Hux didn’t understand how something so simple could feel so good, like some gnawing hunger in him finally being sated.

The firm, warm pressure continued down, the slow slide of skin on skin consuming all of Hux’s thoughts. There was still some hesitation in Ren’s movements, so slow they were almost questioning, but Hux knew from experience that wouldn’t last. It took him time to warm up to it, both giving and receiving, but once he did, Ren was nearly insatiable for the gentle touches they gave each other.

The hands reached the bottom of Hux’s back and then Ren was working his way up, emboldened by the shudder Hux was sure he felt. Feather-light fingers walked up his spine, tracing the faint juts of bone beneath the surface. Any tension that remained in Hux’s body was quickly draining out as he sunk into the bed and closed his eyes, already melting into the sensations.

Ren had touched every part of Hux and Hux had touched every part of him in return. It was reciprocal release and vulnerability in a way that was far more intimate than anything Hux had experienced with those who’d shared his bed over the years. Sometimes he wanted more, to make it messy in a way he’d sworn he wouldn’t and throw _sentiment_ into the mix as well. It was foolish, he knew, to want such a thing, especially with Ren. But that didn’t stop him from occasionally wondering what would happen if he tried, even if the most likely result was to ruin what felt like a very fragile truce.

Now, though, Hux was already enjoying it far too much to let such thoughts spoil it for him. He didn’t remember exactly how this had happened, how they’d managed to move from a relationship that was one too-far insult away from turning into a physical fight to _this_ , but he was glad it had. They both had needs, needs they couldn’t meet with anyone else. So they’d compromised and found a way to meet them in each other. It had been awkward at first, and it still was in the before and after moments, but Hux had no desire to stop and nothing from Ren indicated he did either. So they continued.

Ren was now drawing meaningless swirls on his back, fingertips blazing a trail of sensation over Hux’s skin that drew out a small sound. There was a spot near the bottom of Hux’s shoulderblades that was frighteningly sensitive for such an innocuous location and Ren was now attacking it with flourish, small sweeps of a fingertip over each side. Shivers ran down Hux’s spine, relentless, sending his hair to standing and he couldn’t help a quiet moan.

Just when the attention was almost too much, Ren pulled back, switching to broad sweeps of his palms over Hux’s back. Hux sighed, too relaxed to particularly care about suppressing his sounds anymore. It was just so unbelievably pleasant, leaving Hux’s head just this side of floaty. He idly wondered if this was what true relaxation felt like. It must have been nice to experience it more often than the weekly sessions he had with Ren.

His mind travelled back to the thoughts of what making something more out of this would be like. Even though they hardly spoke during these sessions, Hux felt like he knew Ren in a way that was far deeper than what words could express. He knew which parts of Ren to touch that made him melt, which were ticklish, and which to stay away from if they didn’t want any accidental arousal to spoil the experience and make things awkward. And Ren, in turn, knew all of the same about him. Outside of this weekly sanctuary they’d made, they argued less than they ever had and Ren hadn’t destroyed a single console since the beginning. They were better for it, better together. He wondered if Ren thought the same or just considered this to be each of them providing a service to the other and nothing more.

Ren’s hands smoothing over his lower back brought Hux out of his musings, helping to put a stop to the annoying rumination. His hands were spread, spanning the back half of Hux’s waist, fingertips touching the bed on either side of him and thumbs meeting in the middle of his back. It was surprisingly pleasant, the steady warmth around what Ren could reach of his middle. Then Ren squeezed, careful but firm, and Hux couldn’t help a choked noise. It didn’t hurt, not even close, but the half-circle of pressure, hands digging into the meat of him, the bed against his front giving the illusion of being fully surrounded… Fuck, it was good. Hux felt strangely secure in Ren’s grip.

Ren held the position for a few moments then pulled away and Hux exhaled deeply. Ren did more sweeps along his back, slow and deliberate, skin whispering against skin the only sound in the room. It was only when Hux was in legitimate danger of falling asleep that Ren gave his shoulder a light pat and took his hands away entirely.

Somewhat disoriented by the sensations still holding his mind hostage, Hux slowly turned over and sat up, ignoring how soft and rubbery he felt. His eyes found Ren sitting cross-legged next to him, an expression of equal parts hesitance and want on his face. It was a familiar look to Hux.

Rather than say thank you, Hux simply nodded before asking, “What would you like tonight?”

Ren caught his lip between his teeth, nibbling for a moment. Hux forced himself not to stare at it.

“Can I… your lap?” Ren asked, eyes pleading.

Hux rearranged the pillows against the headboard and then leaned back onto them, his legs stretched out loosely in front of him. “Like this?”

Instead of answering, Ren ducked his head and crawled over, shoving as much of himself into Hux’s lap as he could. He lay down onto his side, head resting on one of Hux’s thighs while the rest of his upper body draped over the space between his legs and the other leg, his arms tucked in by his chest. Ren curled his legs up as well, knees tucked in as tight as they could be in the limited space they had, and nuzzled his nose into the crease between Hux’s stomach and leg. It should have felt at least twice as awkward as it actually did.

Surveying the canvas of Ren’s body laid out before him, Hux decided to start with the man’s hair, burying both hands in it and slowly combing through with his fingers. He could feel Ren’s whole body tense at the first touch and then relax with a deep, stuttering breath, much the way Hux had earlier. Ren particularly liked this, Hux had learned, and it was pleasant for Hux as well. His hair was soft and thick, clean from the sonic he took before he came. It was calming in and of itself to stroke through the strands, brushing through from root to tip.

He played with Ren’s hair like that for a time, getting him used to it. Hux then dug deeper, scratching gentle, sweeping circles into Ren’s scalp with blunt nails. Ren sighed, turning further into Hux’s thigh and baring more of his head to Hux’s attentions. Hux suppressed a chuckle at how needy Ren always was and gave in to the unspoken plea with vigour. If Ren could purr, Hux imagined he’d do so now, like some giant, gangly cat he’d accidentally adopted.

After giving Ren the most thorough head massage he could manage, Hux changed tactics and walked the fingers of one hand down Ren’s neck to his shoulder. He then ran his fingertips across Ren’s shoulder and down his upper arm, feeling the muscles jump beneath the skin. Ren shuddered lightly under the attention, letting out a sigh Hux couldn’t hear but could feel from the warm air puffing against his skin. Next he flattened his hand, running the palm over Ren’s bicep a few times before skimming back over his shoulder and working his way down along Ren’s side.

As soon as he reached Ren’s ribs, Ren let out a small cry, cutting it off quickly as if he hadn’t expected it to come out. Hux could feel Ren tense up and then relax again as he ran gentle patterns over his ribs, fingers dancing over the slight impressions of bone. Once Ren seemed to truly settle into the sensation, Hux slid his hand further down, over Ren’s waist and then stopped at his hip, just above the band of his briefs. He gripped firmly, similar to how Ren had before on his waist, and was rewarded with a quiet moan.

Slowly, Hux worked his way back up, drawing patterns into Ren’s skin with a single finger, watching gooseflesh rise in its wake. At first, he didn’t have anything in mind, but quickly he found himself charting the moles speckled over Ren’s body. They were oddly endearing, Hux thought. Looking at them like this, tracing the imaginary lines between them, it was like plotting a star chart and Hux almost scoffed at his own overly sentimental thought, but he managed to resist for Ren’s sake.

Ren shivered beneath him, likely getting overwhelmed by the feather-light touches, so Hux switched back to his palm and added his other hand again, working over his side and what he could reach of Ren’s back. When he made it back up to Ren’s neck, he dug his thumbs into the flesh there, kneading lightly at the muscle and bone to work out the knots Ren always had in his neck. Hux guessed they must have been caused by the helmet.

Once satisfied with that, Hux worked his hands back into Ren’s hair, earning himself a louder moan. He brushed through it a few times then gave gentle tugs, trying to direct Ren to turn his head. Ren obeyed easily, too lax to put up any resistance. His eyes were hooded and gaze slightly clouded, though it was clear he was confused. They’d never tried this, but Hux was struck with a sudden urge he couldn’t ignore.

Slowly, so that Ren could tell what he was doing and stop him if he chose, Hux moved one hand from Ren’s hair towards his face. Emboldened when Ren did not react beyond a slightly furrowed brow, Hux let his hand brush over Ren’s face, cupping his cheek and running his thumb over the bone there. Ren’s eyes fluttered, a trembling sigh escaping his lips, and he leaned into the warmth of Hux’s palm, pressing his face against it.

Neither of them had touched the other’s face during these sessions before, but it had never been put on the ‘off limits’ list either, so Hux continued, moving his hand down until he could brush Ren’s mouth with his thumb. Ren kept his eyes locked on Hux as he traced those plush lips, eyes glazed but still more than alert enough to understand what was happening and say no if he wanted to. Ren didn’t though, and Hux slid his hand further down, fingers lingering on Ren’s jaw as he slowly pulled away.

Hux gently patted Ren’s shoulder, signaling the end of the ritual, and Ren blinked up at him, his brain slowly coming back up from the intense relaxation. He looked as blissed out as Hux had felt earlier, though Hux was still far from tense. During and immediately after was the most intense part of it, but the feeling of relaxation and improvement to both of their moods would be noticeable for days afterward. It seemed like some sort of impossible magic and yet Hux could not deny the truth of it.

Ren moved off of him slowly and Hux didn’t rush him. He knew what happened next, could very clearly see it in his mind. Ren would take a few minutes to compose himself and then he would rise from the bed and get dressed. Hux wouldn’t bother, being in his own quarters, but would try not to watch as Ren’s skin was consumed once again by the shadows of his robes. Then Ren would offer a curt thank you and leave. No other words would be spoken about it in or out of this room. And then everything would go back to normal until the same time next week, when they’d do it all over again.

And it was good – unbelievably good. Hux didn’t put much stock in the ‘people need human contact to stay sane’ theory he’d seen on the holonet, but he couldn’t deny how much better he felt afterwards. And with Ren… There was no one else he could trust with this. No one else understood and had as much to lose as he did. Hux didn’t want to jeopardize what they had built here for anything.

However, the thought of Ren leaving and them both pretending it had never happened until the following week suddenly seemed unbearable.

And perhaps a lack of tension and stress in his body had caused some sort of madness unique to Hux, but he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Ren’s arm before he had a chance to rise.

“Ren, wait.”

Ren turned to look at him, perplexed. Hux couldn’t blame him; this was not part of the arrangement they had, the one that had been working so well for a couple of months now, but Hux couldn’t seem to stop himself.

“I was just…” he trailed off, unsure what he should even say.

Ren raised an eyebrow, confusion and something else Hux couldn’t place written plainly on his face. Whatever words Hux had thought of when he’d first started speaking were gone now, replaced with one clear idea. Relaxation-induced madness – an ailment Hux was now sure existed – was the only thing he could blame for what happened next.

“Ah hells, fuck it.”

Hux leaned forward, pressing his lips to Ren’s. He could feel Ren startle, the tension in his unmoving lips and Hux cursed himself internally. He’d ruined it, hadn’t he? He was about to pull away and make some sort of excuse when Ren suddenly started kissing back, pushing himself closer to Hux and melting against him. It was gentle and unhurried, Ren’s lips absurdly soft against his own slightly chapped ones. It was even better than Hux had imagined.

They pulled apart to breathe and Hux opened his eyes to find Ren’s boring holes into his. Ah kriff, had he gone too far? Of course he had. He’d surely made a mess of it all now. Ren must have just been too calm and sated to protest and now-

“I hadn’t thought it of you, General,” Ren said, his voice soft and almost playful. “You’re barely able to admit you even like our little… arrangement.”

A mixture of embarrassment and indignation welled up in Hux and he sincerely hoped he wasn’t blushing because of it. “It grew on me. Like a fungus.”

Ren’s eyes flashed with amusement, his lips curling up a bit at the corners. “It appears it’s not the only thing that did.”

“Yes, well,” Hux snapped, probably too harshly, "the fungus comment remains accurate.”

If Hux’s waspish tone had any effect, Ren didn’t show it, just continuing to stare at him partially with amusement and partially with… was that hope? That was promising.

“So are you unopposed, then?” Hux asked, deciding to strike while he had the chance. “To what I did? To there being… more between us?”

A light flush appeared on Kylo’s cheeks. “I’m not, no. This arrangement has been good but… I would certainly enjoy more.”

Hux swallowed, unsure what to say in the face of such a simple resolution to what he’d been so sure was going to end disastrously. So instead he leaned in to give Ren a light peck on the lips, mostly because he now knew he could. He couldn’t help a touch of smug satisfaction when he pulled back and saw Ren trying to follow his lips.

Ren’s expression melted into a smile – an honest, true smile – and then he was slowly rising from the bed, much to Hux’s confusion and disappointment. Hadn’t they just established they were going to turn this into something? Were they not going to discuss the specifics? Were they really going to leave it at that? When Ren started gathering his clothes, Hux couldn’t stay quiet.

“So… am I seeing you here again next week, then?” he asked, not quite succeeding at keeping the disappointment out of his tone.

Ren blinked at him, chewing on his lip again. “I was thinking tomorrow… maybe for dinner? And then more of… everything we did here?”

Hux couldn’t help a smile of his own; that, he could work with. “I shall see you then, Ren.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://kyluxtrashpit.tumblr.com) too


End file.
